Summer is exhausting-Age: 26 months

Liam tells Mom "NO"

Where do I begin
It has almost been too long since I have posted on my blog and it makes me sad because life seems to be passing me by and where has the time gone? Where have these past 27 months gone but then again, look what they have become. They have become months of learning, laughter, happiness, sadness, frustration and most of all memories. Liam is now a hearing child, an eager child and someone who loves life. He is attending two hours of speech therapy a week and is doing outstanding. Since I don't have a "hearing" child to compare him to I don't know quite what to expect other then what the audiologist and speech therapists tell us. At first I felt overwhelmed by it all but now I look at it as one step closer to Liam having clear speech and being mainstreamed into school in a few years.
Our latest adventure was driving to the mountains to see my brother and nieces last weekend. While in the car I decided to sing the ABC song. As I proceeded to sing, Liam said "no Mommy". But I decided to try the song again and hold a tune. Again he said "NO MOMMY". But again I thought he needed to hear me sing. Well, that was the last time that day because he looked at me, said "NO MOMMY" and took his processors off and with a grin he ever so gently set them in the car door cubbie. It was quite funny to think he could tune me out like that and have peace and quiet but then I thought to myself, this could be a very bad thing in the future too as he has the option and control to tune his parents and others out if he wants to. No need to worry now, instead concentrate on what he chooses in life. The hearing world or the world of silence. Either way it is his choice and we will embrace what ever decision he makes in life. Until then, he will continue to go into time out for throwing the processors across the room when he is mad or when he doesn't get his way. But as for the singing, I don't blame him a bit (:

Liam's first word

We went to Aspen for the 4th of July and spent Saturday night at the Hotel Jerome. It was so good to get away and to spend time with Liam, just the three of us.
Liam had a blast at the parade and started making fire engine sounds as the trucks went by. That was really the beginning of a weekend of chatter (: He then began Sunday morning to say Maaaa. Then in the car and on our drive home he was on to Maaamaaa. We had 4 hours in the car to practice so I am sure he had enough of me talking. He now is officially saying mama. His first word was spoken on the 5th of July and it was the most precious voice I have heard. Last Monday, the 6th he said daaa and then today we found out he tried to say milk. He is catching on fast and it is so exciting. I hardly even notice Liams "ears" now. The processors are part of him and who he is. It is so exciting to know he will only continue to grow and learn more language.

I passed a cricket

I went on a jog today and on the trail I passed a cricket. Or shall I say a cricket passed me. Why does a cricket matter? Because this time last year it sucked when I heard a cricket chirp because Liam couldn't hear it. My baby, who was at the time a month old was not only deaf but profoundly deaf. I hated crickets, birds, anything remotely beautiful sounding because it only reminded me of what Liam couldn't hear and what my child was missing out on. So today while I ran a cricket passed in front of me across a trail. That has never happened before. I cannot say I pass a lot of crickets so to me this was symbolic of our journey and how Liam can now hear. Now when I see crickets or birds I am happy and rejoice because Liam can hear.
It's a good thing I didn't squish the little guy, otherwise I couldn't write about my experience today (:

One week of hearing today, May 18th, 2010

I won't lie, it has been hard having Liam's ears on all the time. Hard because he doesn't want them on and hard because they look so big on his little head. I have to get over it, accept it and move on because the most important thing for Liam is to have access to sound and to teach him speech and not to be self conscious of his bionic ears. How did we get to be a society where appearances matter so much? Any place I take Liam people look at his new set of ears. Is it out of curiosity or are they wondering why my son is different. At times I get angry but then again I think to myself, wouldn't I do the same. I mean wouldn't I be curious too if I saw a child with bionic ears?
We will get through this as a family and I will become stronger as the days and years pass. Liam is perfect in every way shape and form despite being without one of the senses. I often look at him as he is studying a leaf or a bug or a blueberry. He studies things because he can. He doesn't have to hear everything that is around him, instead he takes it all in and dissects life. I often wonder if someday he will say the heck with his implants and that he prefers to be without sound. That will be his choice but for now we will continue to grow together and become stronger than ever.

Liam hears, Liam cries

Today was the big day. Liam's implants were activated around 11:00 this morning.

We began our day with a 9am appointment with the surgeon to make sure all was healing well and then we met with the audiologist, Allison, who conducted the activation. I have to say that it wasn't as dramatic as I thought it would be but it was still incredible. I had imagined saying the first words, since that is what we were told, but it didn't unfold that way. Instead, we put the external processors on his head and Allison adjusted the volume. Starting off very low and Liam didn't seem to think much of anything. She then dialed the sound up a bit more. Still not much of a response. Then she began to dial it up a tad bit more and all you could see was Liam with a blank look on his face and then a loud cry, red face and tears rolling down his cheeks. It wasn't at all what I had anticipated but then again I didn't know what to expect.

So far so good in terms of him leaving the external processor on. He has been amazing and actually turns to sound. Not a lot of turning yet, but Grandma dropped a wooden lid tonight while Charles and I were out for dinner and she said Liam just stopped in his tracks, looked at her, and didn't know what to do. She didn't want him to be scared so she began to laugh and as soon as she did, Liam followed.
So that is our story of activation. Now the hearing journey begins and what a load that has been lifted off. Liam is incredible. Just incredible.

pulling Mira's hair